You Can't Save Me ((Yugo,Mature))

Kathrine had stopped humming once Ceres stopped crying. When Shen walked out she started to freely cry. When the nurses had gone in to check on her she pleaded them to just leave her alone. She buried her face into her pillow as she cried out. How could she have said such awful things to him! She deserved every bit of scorn he gave her! No She deserved more....so much more....She reached for her phone to look for her pictures of them together that she had taken before. She cried more when she couldnt find them. She saw images of the lake and the cabin, a couple of her while pregnant and a wolf looking dog...some of people she didnt know....or...couldnt remember. As she calmed down she started to look at all the pictures...all the numbers in her phone. Any calls she recieved or made that were still on her phone. She blinked...she rubbed her eyes as she noticed Shen's number come up repeatedly on outgoing calls made....she added up the numbers...she had called him twice every month for the last 6 months....but...he had said she hadnt contacted him at all

Shen looked back as Kate began to hum. Whatever she was doing seemed to be working. Ceres little by little began to calm down. Shen continued to rock her while speaking softly. He wasn't proud that he had made his daughter cry...but there was no way he could have contained himself. Once Ceres had calmed down enough, Shen left the room with his daughter still in his arms. He wasn't going anywhere. No, he just needed to get away from the room. Besides, he had already told Kate that he'd walk Ceres around for the day while she rested.

Ceres was screaming, her little face turning red as she cried. She fussed even when Shen stood up and started to rub her back. Kathrine was still trying to stop her tears. Hearing Ceres crying so hard she closed her eyes and remained curled up on the bed. She started to softly hum a song. It wouldnt be one that Shen knew, it was one She had randomly started humming to Ceres the other night. She had to stop and sniffled between breathes but she continued to hum the soft tune. Ceres's screaming turned into a low cry before she hicced and fussed rubbed her teary face against Shen's shoulder

Shen kept his eyes on the floor. Perhaps...he shoud've left...especially after losing his temper which was something that didn't happen often. Ceres continued to scream. It looked like Shen's yelling had scared her pretty good. Shen rose to his feet. He placed Ceres on his shoulder and began to gently rub her back as he rocked her. "Shhh daddy's sorry. He didn't mean it..." Shen whispered as softly as he could. It would probably take a while to get the baby to calm down. The tension in the room was pretty thick.

Kathrine had turned to face him as he told her everything. She tried to make sense of it all. But because she couldnt remember,any of the pain she had gone through, she herself couldnt justify what she had down to him. She his gaze became a glare and he started to yell at her she shrunk, her body trembling as he yelled at her. She quickly started to wipe her tears away before they could fall. "Is...everything okay in here?" A nurse asked. Almost the whole staff had heard him yelling. "Y-yeah...everythings fine" Kathrine sniffled. "Sir...maybe...you should leave for today" The nurse suggested. "N-no...he's fine...." Kathrine said again. The nurse looked at Kate then back at Shen with a light glare appalled that a man could scream at a new mother. She walked out though. Kathrine turned onto her side again, facing away from him again. She didnt even know what to say....

"Well...its not all your fault. I'll start at the beginning..." Shen sighed. By beginning, he meant right after he had arranged for Kate to go to New York. He told her how he had left her for a year and why, and how they had met up later in the middle of the South China Sea. The conversation dragged on. There was allot to cover; including the mistakes Shen had made. Finally, he got to the last day that he had seen her before she took off. Shen explained how he had kissed Himiko while they were broken up. He explained how he was willing to start over fresh, but that Kate wasn't satisfied with the level of suffering he had experienced. "You couldn't get past it. You insisted that I hadn't experienced even a fraction of pain that you had. Perhaps...I hadn't. It doesn't matter now either way..." Shen muttered as his eyes shifted to the floor. "I left...and a few days later one of your roommates told me that you had just taken off. I searched for you, but after a while I gave up. I didn't know anything..if you were alive or dead. Then...it happened. Just a few days ago I received a called from that disgusting piece of trash you called a friend." Shen stated. Suddenly, his entire body began to shake. "I get it. You hated me. You wanted me to suffer...I get all that..." Shen muttered. Than, he suddenly broke down. His brown eyes shot up towards Kate revealing just how much he currently despised her. "BUT NOTHING I'VE DONE WARRANTS YOU DENYING ME THE RIGHT TO SEE MY CHILD BORN! NOTHING GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO DENY ME THE CHANCE TO BE APART OF HER BIRTH. HOW FUCKING SELFISH COULD YOU BE?! WHATS WORSE, I BELIEVE THAT YOU INTENDED TO GIVE BIRTH AND THAN JUST HAND HER TO ME AS IF SHE WERE SOME HAND-ME-DOWN SWEATER!!!!!!" Shen roared. It wasn't until that he realized that Ceres was crying that he stopped. "So you wanna know why its hard being around you? You wanna know why we're not together do you?" Shen whispered as he began to gently rock Ceres, tho it was probably useless. "Thats why."

Kathrine stared at the wall without a word, hearing his foot tapping against the floor. Why wasnt he leaving....When he asked if she wanted to know why he was acting the way he was towards her she closed her eyes. "You know I do..." She said in a whimper. She was almost afraid to hear what he had to say. Something kept nagging her that it was because of her they werent together...Shen wasnt the kind of man who would just suddenly hate someone

Shen mentally pressed his palm against his face. There was nothing he say to change the situation...tho...perhaps the truth would help to clear the air. Shen sat back. His right foot lightly tapped against the cool white floor. "Do you want to know why I've been so.......harsh......towards you?" he asked. She had inquired before, but Shen had refused to answer. The truth was it hurt to much to explain why, but it was a conversation that they had to have eventually. "I'll tell you everything, but only if you're willing to listen."

Ceres yawned and nuzzled her head against Shen as she slept. Kathrine closed her eyes as he...attempted to cheer her up. "Yeah....okay..." She said, but she didnt sound assured at all. "If she doesnt stop fussing when she wakes up....you can bring her back..." She said quietly and she gripped the blanket. She didnt understand....if he hadnt known if she or the baby were alive then why was he so jaded towards her....She slowly turned onto her side the the best she could so her back was facing Shen, wincing as her stitches pinched

Shen gazed down at his sleeping daughter. He heard the sorrow in Kate's voice. As mad as he was....he still felt compelled to cheer her up...at least a little. "Listen Kate.." Shen whispered, his eyes still glued to Ceres' sleeping face. "I...I just need some time to...you know...get use to talking to you. Understand that...for months I had completely sworn you off. I didn't even know if you or our baby were alive. So...seeing you...its just going to take some time. I...well...I am sorry that you have to suffer...but have no...memory of the past."

Kathrine looked down sadly. "Shen....you dont.....you dont have to force yourself to talk to me....It's alright...." She said as she handed the sleeping baby back to Shen. "Every two hours...though...loud pages seem to wake her up...." She said quietly. She pulled the thin covers up over her and turned her head. "Just...ask the nurses for any of the nursing bottles...they'll bring them..." she said. Her voice sounded so broken

"No no, I wouldn't take her from the hospital, just out for a little fresh air." Shen stated, tho his eyes were now on the door. Himiko was acting strange...or stranger than normal. "In any case..." Shen sighed. He over towards the edge of the bed and sat down. "Just give it a try. You dont have to walk a mile." He stated. Had their relationship been different, shen would have taken steps to make Kate comfortable and relive her fears. Now, he seemed to be only doing the very minimum necessary for Katherine. "So........" He begun, but then paused. They were alone again...which meant that they'd be in for another episode of small talk. "W-What are Ceres' sleeping habits? IS she waking up every hour or every 2 hours?"

"I dont think the doctors will let you leave with her though, when I was reading over some of the papers, it stated new borns cant leave the hospital until the mother is discharged" She mentioned softly while Ceres slowly fell back into a light sleep. When he mentioned she herself should try walking she shuttered at the thought, the staples in her lower stomach stung whenever she tried to move she feared trying to walk. "Y-yeah...that sounds good" She said to him, trying to hide her nervousness of the thought

"A-Anyway..." Shen blinked as he turned back to face Katherine. "Once Ceres has had her nap I'll take care of her for the rest of the day. That way, you can get some rest and relax. We should ask the doctor if you can stretch your legs too. A little light walking should be fine." Shen suggested. Himiko turned and walked out of the room. She pulled her phone out from the back pocket of her jeans and placed it to her ear. "Hello? Yes...soon..."

Kathrine tried not to pay much attention to their conversation, but couldnt help but hear all of it weather she wanted to or not. Hearing they were going to talk something over...guess that meant she'd be up all night again. She shrugged the thought away, she didnt mind it all that much, she'd just have to make sure to keep her energy up and eat some more. She glanced at Himiko and Shen, seeing his reaction, he seemed surprised by something

Shen was a doctor. He understood that Ceres would have a closer bond with Kate than him for the first few weeks or so. Still, he didn't like the idea of having to hand Ceres over just so she'd stop crying. Though when it became clear that he had no other options Shen reluctantly handed his daughter over. He watched Kate began to calmed the crying baby. He wasn't jealous...well...not really. Sighing, Himiko turned and leaned up against the wall, her eyes on Shen. "We should talk more tonight." she stated. Shen turned slightly. He agreed that they needed to talk...but he wasn't sure if he wanted/could move to california. "Tonight." he whispered. Himiko nodded. "That good...because time is short." The blonde stated as her entire demeanor changed. She became more serious, her face stone cold. The look in her eyes definitely caught shen off guard. All he could do was stare at her wide eyed.

Ceres calmed down for a moment before breaking out into another fit. Not recognizing his voice from the time she was in Kathrine's stomach made him more or less a stranger to her for now. Her fussing soon turned into an upset cry. Kathrine stirred, sitting up and rubbed her eyes, blinking seeing Shen and his new girlfriend. "Oh, hey..."She said and saw Ceres fussing in Shen's arms. Kathrine held her arms out for Ceres, when handed over, Kathrine rocked Ceres gently. "Shh shh, I'm here" she said. Ceres hiccuped and whimpered before her cried calmed into upset sniffles. "Shh shh....mama's here" She said softly and leaned back against the bed, cradling Ceres against her

"Wh-What?!" Shen blinked. As Ceres began to fuss, Shen rose to his feet and quickly moved Himiko aside. "Now look what you did..." he growled while picking Ceres up. He placed her head gently on his shoulder and began to rock her while patting her back. "Whats all this about California?" Shen asked softly. Himiko shrugged her shoulders. "Is that what you've been doing secretly?" Shen asked. Himiko nodded lightly. "I've been talking with the Resident Director. He says there's space and would love to have me. The question is...would you love to have me more?" Himiko asked. Her big gorgeous blue eyes stared up into Shen's brown ones. They then shifted over towards Ceres. Himiko really, really wasn't a baby person. "I know that she's your world. I want both of you to come with me. We can all be together."

Before Shen had returned Kathrine had fallen back asleep, still exhausted from being up all night. She was completely out. Where as Himiko's loud voice and her weight, makin the cradle move made the baby girl fuss, her fussiness threatening to turn into screams from being woken up. Ceres seemed to be a very light sleeper.

After a while, Shen returned to Kate's room. However, this time Himiko came along. "So, how's the little booger?" she smiled while walking up to Ceres' crib. "Dont call her that." Shen frowned. His eyes shifted over towards the bed and then over to the crib. Both the girls were sleeping soundly. Shen let out a soft sigh. He moved over towards the chair he had been sitting in. "Hey Shen..what would you do if I told you that I was being offered a job in California?" Himiko asked. She leaned forward against the bars of Ceres' crib. She wasn't a 'baby' person, but perhaps she'd have to become one if she wanted to keep shen.

Kathrine had a nurse put Ceres back into her crib when she fell asleep. She put her head in her hand and tried, tried to remember what she had forgotten. But no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't recall her kissing memories. She wanted to remember. She wanted to know what happened between her and Shen so badly but Jakerefused to tell her and Shen was just as stubborn abut the topic. She winced lightly as she gave herself a headache and rubbed her forehead with a frustrated sigh. Shen seemed so aggitated toward her she was afraid he was going to try and take Ceres from her. Just so he wouldn't have to trouble himself with her once Ceres was weened from her breast milk....

Shen hadn't even noticed Josh. He walked straight to his car, but paused in shock when he saw Himiko standing right beside it. "Did you...walk here?" Shen blinked. "Its not that far." Himiko smiled. She pushed herself away from the car and walked up to Shen. She placed a soft kiss on his lips. She could tell just by looking into his eyes that he was upset. "Not having fun playing happy family?" she asked. "Playing?" Shen frowned, his eyes narrowing once more. "Sorry...it was a joke...tho I guess it wasn't funny." Himiko whispered. Shen took a step back. He closed his eyes while slowly running a hand through his jet black hair. "I love Ceres. I only just met her...and in yet I love her so much. However...I dont know if I can stomach being around Kate...even if its for my daughter's sake."

Kathrine blinked when Shen's cold stair hit her. She flinched, looking at him completely confused as he stomped out. She looked down at Ceres....what did she do to fuck things up....Shen said it wasnt anything she did....but she had a feeling it was since all his anger seemed to be pointed at her. Jacob had been lounging in the gift shop, wasting some time before heading out. He looked over at Shen who seemed pissed off. He didnt comment or try talking to him. Just started walk walk past him without a word

Shen stayed seated. His eyes were closed tightly. Suddenly, he began to grip the handles of his chair. He was trying so hard, so very hard to contain his anger. He was trying to think of Ceres and the happiness he felt now that he had her. However, his anger was quickly taking over. IT hurt. It hurt worse than anything Shen had ever experienced. It hurt worse than his memories of fighting with the Chinese army. It hurt worse than being shot. To be deprived of the right to see his first child born...shen wouldn't wish such a fate on anyone. Finally, Shen rushed to his feet. His eyes opened slowly revealing an intense stone cold glare. "I'll be back." he muttered while heading for the door. He didn't stop for questions. He continued walking till he was outside the hospital. He needed to vent somehow before he ended up screaming at Katherine for a crime she didn't even remember committing

Kathrine was on the bed, leaning over, kissing Cere's tiny toes. "Nom nom nom" She said while playfully kissing them. Ceres cooed and smiled. "My pretty girl" She said while taking Ceres's hands and kissed them too. She picked her up and cradled her. Ceres yawned, turning against Kathrine and closed her eyes. "My little sleepy head" Kathrine said with a smile