You Can't Save Me ((Yugo,Mature))

ooc: Ok. What/who does the baby look like tho?

ic: Shen's eyes hot wide open! He stumbled back. Jacob's voice was the last one he expected to hear. Now...he was saying something about a baby girl...a baby girl! "I'll leave tonight." Shen stated before hanging up. It was odd, he had been wondering how Kate was doing, but hadn't bothered to ask about her condition. Jacob hadn't given him any information either. "I need to go." Shen announced as he scrambled to find his shoes. "W-Wait Shen whats going on???" Himiko blinked. "Call my dad too, tell him I wont be in today." Shen stated as he tried balancing on one foot while putting on his left shoe. "Ehhhh?! Shen..you know that your parents hate my guts. Your mother refers to me as, 'that whore'...to my face. Your farther wont even look at me...something against Japanese I guess." Himiko shrugged. "Wait..weren't you suppose to meat with some important people today???" Himiko asked and shot to her feet. She tackled Shen to the ground. It was the only way to get him to stop. Shen hit the ground with a hard thud. He winced while rubbing the back of his head. "Kate...had the baby. It's a girl.." Shen replied softly. Himiko's big blue eyes widened. She rose to her feet and turned around. Was she upset? Shen sat up some while still rubbing his head. "Himiko?" he bliked. Suddenly, the natural blonde turned around giving him a wink. "I'm coming with. It's time I met my new daughter."

((Nah she was about a month along when they found out she was with child...then 7 months pass, so she was safely at 8 months, and I've heard lots of stories about babies born a month early being pretty healthy so long as their development went well.))

"Shen..." Jacob said while looking down at the little girl in his arms. "Congratulations... your the proud father of a beautiful baby girl" Jacob said. Little Ceres coughed and started to cry. "Shh shh... It's alright Ceres" He said while holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder. "Her name is Ceres Li...Kathrine chose her name..." He said, his voice trailed of as he brought up Kathrine as he held back his own tears. He let out a slow breath. "We're in a little town in Minnesota...Hibbing Minnesota....you can come get your daughter as soon as you want..." He said, his voice rather said as he gently ran his finger down her cheek

ooc: So the baby should be a preemie right? She was hardly at 8 months so shouldn't the girl be in critical or something?

ic: Shen had just gotten out of the shower. Himiko was fully dressed for work and waiting for Shen to brush her hair, like he often did in the mornings. "So...we gonna talk about this morning?" Shen asked as he grabbed Himiko's brush from inside the bathroom. Himiko took in a deep breath. "Shen...the truth is...I'm a secret government agent. I kill people for a living. Its government sanctioned murder, but its in the interest of national security so its fine. This morning I got my next mission." Himiko explained. Shen paused for a moment. His right eye suddenly began to twitch. With a *whack* he nailed Himiko in the back of her head with the brush. "That was the plot to last night's movie. IF you're going to mock me, do a better a job." Shen sighed. Himiko let out a soft giggle while rubbing the back of her head. "Should I have said that I was a super hero in disguise?" she grinned. "A super hero that cant cook, clean, or brush her own hair...thats unlikely." Shen sighed again. Himiko hung her head. "That one cut deep shen." she pouted. Shen smiled, tho only very lightly. He leaned down and pressed his lips against the spot he had whacked her. Before he could apologize tho, he heard his phone ring. Without looking t the number Shen opened the phone. "Hello?"

"Hm...Kathrine....are you...having contractions?" The doctor asked and looked at her with widened eyes. "Huh?" Kathrine asked, not understanding his question. "Kate....your water's already broke!" The doctor said while paging the nurses. "What? Impossible I've been with her all day" Jacob said. "Did she shower today?" The doctor asked. "Yeah before we came here" Jake replied. "Kathrine, do you recall your water breaking before you got in the shower?" The doc asked as nurses came in. "I dont know" She said. The doctor had never seen this, she was contracting, in labor and she didnt even feel it. "Jake, I need to ask you to leave" The doc said while a nurse started showing him out. "No! I'm not leaving her side" He said. "Mr Johnson, there is something wrong with your cousin, I can't have you in here until we handle this" The doctor said and shut him out.

Hours passed. Jake had his face in his hands, his foot tapping non stop. "Here she comes....its a beautiful girl Kathrine" The doctor said as a pink blanet was wrapped around the tiny body. A nurse retrieved Jake and he rushed in, seeing Kathrine refusing the baby. "Can I?" He asked and walked up to the nurse and took the baby. "Kathrine...look...she's so beautiful" He said and looked at Kathrine...she was very pale....and sweating. "What are you going to call her?" He asked. Kathrine looked at the baby girl. "...Call Shen...tell him...to come get her...." She said. "Kathrine...choose a name..." Jake said. Kathrine stared at the baby again, her hues didnt doften but began to fade. "Ceres....Li" She said in a low breath before her heart stopped. "Kate...Kate! Doc!!!" Jake screamed. Ceres was taken from him as he was once again pushed from the room. "FUCK!!!" He screamed and fell to his knees slamming his fists against the floor.

He sat on a chair....he already new...but for some reason needed to hear it confirmed to believe it. The doctor came out. "Her heart stopped....for seven minutes...we managed to bring her back...but....that long without oxygen to the brain....we dont know how much damage has been cause yet...." The doctor said. "B-but she's alive" He said standing up his eyes holding hope. "Yes...she's alive. But...as I said...until she wakes up...we wont know how much damage her brain has suffered from the lack of oxygen..." He said. Jacob ran a hand through his hair. It took a couple hours for everything to settle before he was allowed to sit in her room where she slept. He held Ceres and pulled out his cell phone, the one he got when they moved to Minnesota. He had saves Shen's number to it... He paused...before finally hitting the send button

Shen turned on his side. He could hear the sounds of Himiko showering. What he felt...it was so strange. He too was broken, the only difference between him and Kate was that Shen's eyes were better at hiding his state of mind. Inside...Shen knew that he wasn't happy. However at the same time he wasn't miserable. Having Himko in his life helped him get through the days...but he couldn't love her, not that she minded tho. For the most part she considered her relationship with Shen to be physical. Plus, he could cook and clean so he was worth keeping around. However, over the past few months Himiko began to wonder if things would change between them. She could see herself falling for Shen. He was smart, freaking amazing in bed, strong, and had the kind of personality she liked.


While Himiko showered, her phone began to ring. Shen sat up. The tone was different...in fact he had never heard it before. Normally her ringtone was sample of Pink's Try. For Shen, she had the ringtone set up to be some sort of light chinese music. Racist? Perhaps, but Shen didn't mind. The music wasn't even chinese, it was Vietnamese. Suddenly, Himiko came rushing out the bathroom covered in nothing but tiny water droplets. Her big blue eyes shifted towards her phone. "Did you answer that?" She asked. Shen blinked. "No..why would I?" he asked her. "SHEN! This is fucking important! Did you answer my phone!!" Himiko screamed out. The sudden change caught shen off guard. She was always goofy and relaxed...as a matter of fact he hadn't heard her scream out of anger once. "I..I said no. It rung..and that way is." Shen replied softly, his eyes narrowing. Himiko let out a small sigh of relief. She walked over towards her night stand, picked up her phone, and then walked back into the bathroom. She quickly closed the door and locked it. She also turned the water of the shower back on. Was that suppose to mask her conversation? Shen laid back down. He was too tired to question her odd behavior. Besides...his mind was on his child..and it's mother.

Jacob wrapped an arm around Kate. He had confessed to Kahrine he was Bi-sexual and had always had feelings for her at some point, but wasnt surprised or hurt when he was shot down. Still he wanted to help her, to protect her. He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head before rubbing her arm. "Come on, it's getting cold, lets get you inside and I'll start a fire" He said as he reeled in the line ans secured the hook. "Come on Lobo" He said as he stood up, the wolf dog got up, moving from under Kate's feet, allowing her to stand up. She put a hand on her stomach as the baby kicked, and Jacob took her other hand, keeping her steady. He lead her to the cabin and sat her down. The last 7 months had indeed been peaceful. No worries no stress, the baby was developing beautifully. Kathrine was in great health physically. He sat her down on the couch and worked on making the fire. Lobo sat in front of Kate and rested his massive head on lab while she slowly stroked his fur. Her hues held no emotion, as if all her motions and movements were animated out of habit.

The next morning they took the hour long drive to town, heading into the hospital for her exam. "How is everything Ms. Johnson" The doctor asked. Jacob had gotten them fake ID's and information to keep anyone from being able to find them. "Fine" She replied. "Getting excited?" The doctor asked while having her lay back. "No" She said bluntly. The doctor had gotten used to her odd personality. He also knew that she had no intention of keeping the child, but refused to give the information of the father until the birth of the baby. So long as he didnt have to worry about the risk of her harming the baby with her depressive state, the doctor saw no harm in her conditions, not that he could force the information out of her anyway. She had always been compliant with everything else, setting visits and with Jacobs help, was staying very healthy

After the first few months of no contact, Shen had given up. Before that, he had tried hard to find out where Kate had run off to. Unfortunately, JAzz was no help. Everytime Shen went over to her apartment she started screaming as if it was all his fault...maybe it was. However, after the first three months Shen was sure that Kate held no desire to be reached. So...he gave up. He was still concerned for the health of his child tho. For all he knew, Kate had aborted it. The pain of not knowing kept shen awake at night.

Strangely, Shen had decided to go ahead and move into his parent's pent house. He had planned to talk to his father about finally joining the company. He had planned to throw away his passion for healing the moment he had found out that Kate was pregnant. They'd need the money and the stability. Why shen went ahead with the deal...he himself wasn't sure. His dad didn't complain tho. Shen was now being trained to take over the family business and after nearly 8 months Shen's training was almost over. He'd be given more responsibility now.

Shen let out a deep sigh as he turned on his back, his eyes only partly open. A figure started stirring from under the sheets next to him. From under the covers Himiko's head popped out. The two were together...but weren't...it was complicated to say the least. Even now, shen still held on to the wish that Kate would contact him. However, that wish was only a delusion, which Himiko had bene trying to get him to see. "Sleep well?" the blonde, blue eyed halfling smiled. Her body was covered in nothing but the sheets ontop of her. "No..." Shen whispered. Himiko sighed. She moved ontop of Shen so her legs straddled his waist. "You dont smile anymore..." She whispered. Shen remained silent. Himiko smiled and leaned down to capture his lips with a tender kiss. After that, she got off him and walked towards the bathroom. She wasn't allowed to stay the night in his penthouse. Mei had forbidden it. The women was absolutely livid when she found out that Shen was dating Himiko. That time, shen had spent the night over at Himiko's apartment. "You worry too much Shen. Stressing yourself out will do you no good." Himiko replied softly. She turned slightly as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom, her body on display for Shen's viewing pleasure. "I'm just worried about the child..." Shen mumbled. "Is that all?" Himiko smiled. "I know you think about her...and often."

Months passed...Joshua and Jazz had never gotten any message from Jacob or Kathrine....neither of them even knew she was pregnant... By now she was roughly 7 months along...so long as she didnt abort... When Shen did stop by Jazz went off the deep end on him, while Joshua...broke down. Telling him how Jacob and Kathrine had just up and left without a word, without their phone. They had withdrawn all their money and had even left behind their credit cards, just taking the cash. Kathrine's camera had been left behind...the one thing she had always cherished next to Shen...just left behind. They had called the cops, filed missing persons reports, and over the months nothing had been found.

Meanwhile in a cabin in the middle of the woods in northern Minnesota Kathrine sat on the docks of a lake, A large dog laying at her feet as she stared out at the water with a fishing pole in hand. She rubbed her belly...she had gotten big over the months due to Jacob making sure she ate well. He walked down the path with some grapes for her and a drink for himself. "Catch anything?" He called. "No...they arent biting today...." She said, her voice quiet...broken. Jacob had watched her over the passing months....she never recovered...however had never lost herself either...She was....just getting by....thanks to Jake... The dogs ears perked and he looked at Jake as he sat down before settling his head back onto his massive paws. "Dont forget we have an appointment with your doctor tomorrow" He said softly. "You'll be roughly 8 months by tomorrow...you sure you dont want to know what it is?" He asked. "No....I dont really care....once it's born...I'm giving custody to Shen....its what he wanted anyway..." She said.

Jacob handed her the plate of grapes and took the fishing pole from her to let her eat. A pack of wolves started to howl somewhere from across the lake. The dog at Kate's feet lifted his head and returned a long deep howl until the other wolves ceased. "Good boy" Kathrine said and reached down, petting the the dogs head. "Lobo's gotten big" Jake said. "I guess so" Kate replied while eating another grape. "We could raise it you know...be a family and live here together" Jake said. "No..." she said without even giving it a thought. "Kathrine...I know you can find something to live for again if you just look" He said. Kathrine didnt reply and just stared out at the water. "No..." She repeated

Shen had called the next morning. When Kate didn't answer, Shen shut off his phone without leaving a message. "Very well." He sighed as he sat down on his bed. He and Kate were done...but that didn't mean he could forget about his child, his first born. He'd need to meet up with Kate eventually to discuss what was to be done. It wasn't too late to have an abortion...but Kate was crazy if she thought that shen would stand idle while she did so. "No answer?" Came the sound of Himiko's voice from the entry way of his room. This time she was wearing a robe. The only difference from last night was that she had nothing on underneath. "We have work in an hour..we should get ready.."

The next day...Kathrine was gone...her and Jacob had vanished leaving a note that said, they'd be back... they just didnt specify when. Nothing of Kathrines was really gone, just some clothes, all her money she had saved... Jacob as well. They had even left behind their phones so no would could try and call them. Jacob was doing what he could for her...he was taking her away from the pain...the suffering, some where peaceful where she wouldnt have to suffer

Shen said nothing, even as Jacob bowed. He could plead...but it meant nothing. Even if Shen did return, he'd be walking into the same atmosphere that had just left. He...was tired..and the only thing Kate wanted was for him to suffer. What kind of relationship could they have? Was he suppose to wait and wait until their child turned five? Would it take that long for things to return to normal? No...Shen couldn't raise a child under those circumstances. When his taxi came, Shen placed his things inside. He took a moment to look at the door to Kate's appartment. Maybe she'd come out. Maybe she'd ask him to give it another shot...a real shot. Maybe she'd ask him to forget about the past and start fresh. However, she never came. Shen laughed. Of course she wouldn't. "Take me to North 2407 Applestreet please." Shen whispered as he sat down and closed the door.

"Wha...child?...." Jacob blinked confused. "Shen..." Jake said and clenched his fists.... "Dont...leave her..." Jacob said and got down on his hands and knees and bowed his head to the ground. "Please! Dont leave her again!" He pleaded, though it seemed useless... Jacob couldnt convince him... he didnt even know how... he went back to the dorm and froze, seeing a bottle of pills and booze sitting in front of Kate. Kathrine looked at him with teary eyes. "I...cant do it...." she cried. She couldnt sacrifice the child inside her....to end her own pain. Jacob ran over to her and knocked the pills and bottle of vodka away and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I'm so sorry baby...I'm so sorry" He said holding her as she cried against him

Shen continued to walk in silence. When he reached the edge of the street, he turned slightly to face Jacob. "Take care of her." Shen whispered. "There...can be no future for us...even if a child is involved...not without us working things out. As it stands...thats just not possible." Shen replied softly. He had accidentily let it slip that Kate was pregnant. His brown eyes reflected the brokenness he felt inside. "I'm leaving." Shen sighed and turned back around. He placed his bag on the ground and pull his phone out from his coat pocket so he could call a taxi. He hadn't even stayed for 30 minutes...and already he was leaving.

"Wait...what? Jake said while putting his bags down. "Wait Shen, what happened?" He said and walked out after him, the door shutting behind them. "Shen...wait...what happened?" Jake asked. Inside tears slid Kathrine's face she covered her face with her hands, crying. She hated this....this life....everything was always pain...was she never allowed to be happy? "Shen...dont leave..." Jacob said, looking at Shen.

A long period of silence fell upon the room. By the time Jacob returned, Shen was still standing in the kitchen, dead silent. What now? He was tired...and he knew that she was too. Really..it was a good thing he had chosen not to propose because the two of them had too many issues. "Jacob." Shen called and slowly turned around. "I'll leave guarding Katherine to you for the night. For me...its too soon to stay over. I'll see if I can grab a cab." Shen replied softly and began walking towards the door. He didn't know what to say to Kate...so he chose silence. He'd call her tomorrow...or maybe the next the day. Himiko would be thrilled to have Shen to herself, as she was accustomed to.

As he spoke, her hues grew more empty...she was losing hold of what she clung to, to keep herself from falling into darkness....from what kept her wanting to wake up and get out of bed each morning for. Was there...really no hope for them at all...as she was now...." She rested her chin on her arms without a word. She wished she could believe him...that he had been in just as much pain when he chose to leave her...but she couldnt....he had lived through hell once before when he lost Yue...she couldnt believe he'd choose a hell like that again by losing her from his life as well.

"I see..." Shen whispered and turned away from her again. "So my pain means absolutely nothing huh? My desire to see you, to be with you...but thinking that I had been forgotten means nothing. That was for a year. This past month, I've tried so hard to reach you. I've done everything I can to show you how much I've love you. I HAVE experienced what you have. You've treated me EXACTLY how I treated you. The only difference is that you did it out of spite...and I thought I was acting in your best interest. Thats the difference." Shen stated. Despite his words, his tone wasn't all that harsh. IF anything, it held sadness within it, just like her's did. "I'm..." Shen mumbled, but then paused to run his hands through his hair. "I'm tired of suffering...as I'm sure you are as well."

She was back into her old thinking style...she still wished...she had never met him...never knew what it was like to be loved....it was because of him her views of how she was treated by her deranged uncle changed.... "...I want you to suffer like I had to....waiting...not wanting to ever give up....even though you have no hope that things will go back to normal...You keep saying your sorry....but you have no idea what I went through...." She muttered. Her voice wasnt dark, nor her eyes... Her hues held nothing but saddness...like she had been broken all over again....they were the eyes she had when he had first met her....broken eyes....learning to accept all the pain the world seemed to enjoy putting her through. "...I want...you to understand me.... to see things as I do...even for a day...." She muttered, staring blankly at the wall

"I hadn't expected you to..." Shen muttered after the pillow was shoved into his face. He sighed and got up from the couch. He walked into the kitchen and filled up a glass of water. There...wasn't much he could do but wait...again. He was sorry, but that probably didn't mean much. Tho, from a logical stand point Shen still didn't understand why she was upset. They weren't together...and the only reason they were trying now was because she was pregnant, that he was sure of. "What do you want me to do?" Shen asked while his back faced her. "I can wait...but thats no guarantee that things will change...our previous case the perfect example. So...please..just tell me what you want from me Katherine..." Shen replied softly and turned his body just enough so he could see her out the corner of his left eye.

It was progress enough that she hadnt sent him out the door already. As he leaned forward towards her she picked up the pillow and pushed it into his face. "Dont think you can apologize and I'll just suddenly forgive you" She growled and grabbed the pillow and hugged it against her. "Just shut up and give me some time to adjust....jerk" She muttered as she looked down with sad hues. Why did he have to be so stupid when it came to women....

"What I meant was that we should focus on the now. I didn't mean to diminish the pain you felt. I was in pain as well...as you're aware of." Shen replied softly. Despite the strength of her glare, his eyes were still soft. "I understand." he finally sighed. Arguing with her would get him nowhere. "But I do regret it...and since this afternoon I wondered how I should tell you. I suppose...the question now is where do we go from here? I am sorry..and I really do want to work things out between us." Shen stated with a tone filled with sincerity. "I'm sorry Kate." Shen whispered. He turned and leaned forward a bit so he was facing her.

"It does matter....how dare you try to brush it off so simply when it was me who was hurt so badly" She hissed glaring at him. He made the wrong move... sure she was willing to work on their relationship, but him trying to say the past year didnt matter was like pouring pure salt into an open flesh wound. "Just because you didnt remember doesnt mean it didnt happen" She growled

"Thats not fair Kate." Shen sighed as he closed his eyes again and leaned back some more. "We've had this talk. I left because I thought it was for your own good. IF you truly missed me....you should have called." he stated bluntly. "But, none of this matters really. Whats done is done. What we need to do is focus on the now." he replied softly, his soft brown eyes on her. "It only happened once, and I didn't even remember doing it..."

Kathrine put a large pillow at her side to block him from her as she crossed her arms and glared at the T.V. "Yes..." She replied bluntly but didnt go off on a screaming fit like she usually would have. "I go a year thinking I'd never hear or see you again...and here you are unable to go a month without giving up and moving on to some tramp who plays flirty and innocent to get what she wants." Kathrine growled, more so to herself than to him.

"Seriously?" Shen blinked. "You were my student...and my feelings were mixed up. There's no comparison." Shen argued, of course he was speaking from a logical view point, like he always did. "Well...the two of us..." Shen began and paused again. The fact that he was taking so long to say it had to mean that he knew he had messed up. "We kissed once. It was..maybe two weeks ago. We came home after a night of drinking with a few other staff. I remember thinking that you were never going to talk to me. You ignored the two txts I had sent you and the 1 phone call. When we got home...it just sort of happened, but only the one time. After that, nothing happened tho. I actually forgot..and didn't remember until she reminded me tonight...tho she described it as hooking up...for whatever reason." Shen sighed deeply. His head turned towards Kate. Technically...he hadn't cheated since they weren't together at the time, Kate had made that clear. "Are you upset?"