You Can't Save Me ((Yugo,Mature))

Shen thought that the flight would never end. He leaned back letting out a soft sigh of relief. He couldn't wait for the plane to land. He looked over at kate giving her a warm smile. " I'm fine I'm use to these long flights.it's Is nothing a little stretching won't cure." Shen smiled. When she mentioned her phone shen nodded and reached into his pocket pulling of out. " I'm thinking your roommates don't have a clue that you're coming back. You should call them and let them know you're okay as soon as we land." Shen stated. " Oh also is it okay if I stay with you for the first few nights? Its prolly going to take a day or two for me to find a place of my own"

At some point during the rest of the night Kathrine's head ended up back on Shen's shoulder instead of her pillow. She had slept soundly through out the rest of the night and most of the morning up until the captain came up on the speaker and announced that they'd be landing. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, covering her mouth as she yawned and finally stretched her hands up over her head. "Hn....my back feels so stiff...." She muttered lightly as she glanced up at Shen. "Your's is probably worse, with your height" she noted out loud. "Ah...Did I have a phone at all? I never had one on me when I woke up... shouldnt I ...I dunno, call my room mates? Do they know when I was suppose to come back?" She asked.

Shen watched as she fell back asleep while holding his hand. He leaned back against his chair sighing softly. He hadn't planned on going back to the states so he'd have to find a place to stay. He had about 7000 in his checking and 25000 in his savings so he didn't doubt he could find an apartment that wasn't too far away from Kate's school. It would have been cheaper tho just to move into his parent's new york house since it wasn't being used, but Shen still felt that he had spent enough time using his family's money even if his mother insisted. Boy, she'd be thrilled to learn that he wasn't walking the streets along side that 'uncivilized alleycat' as she often called Revy. A small smile formed on Shen's lips. He had Kate back and now he was flying back to the states. Maybe, just maybe things would start going right for him.

She slowly nodded as she ran her hand through her hair. Her hues met his as he promised to never hurt her, and that he was better now. She blinked as his hand came a top hers and back at him as his fingers ran along her own. "A-alright" She said with a soft smile as she eased back into the chair. She turned her hand and laced her fingers with his before looking back out the window. She slowly drifted back to sleep, holding his hand

"So we agree?" Shen asked as his eyes brightened a bit. He nodded tho understanding that he had placed a good bit of fear inside her. "I'm shen whispered. "You can trust me not to harm you tho. Back then...I was angry for a bunch of reasons...b-but I'm better now. I promise." He replied softly. He placed his over one of hers and gently ran his fingertips over hers.

"Not..exactly. Like I said, I was attracted to you too when I woke up, but it was all your fussing and comparing that I didnt like...So...instead, I want to go off....of what I'm feeling....but...right now...im....I'll be honest...you scare me...a little." She said as she glanced at him. Seeing him smile for the first time in...she couldnt even remember how long she relaxed a bit. She blinked as he made the rule of neither of them talking about their flings. She lightly nodded and ran her hand through her hair.

"So you want to test your feelings?" Shen blinked not liking the way that sounded. He still loved her but what if somewhere down the lime she discovered otherwise? What else could he do tho? He'd simply have to take the risk. "Ok" shen replied softy while offering her a warm smile. "But this time we start completely fresh. I won't compare you to your former shelf if you don't judge the decisions I've made. Ill try to ease up on the protecting but you're going to have to understand where I'm coming from better. Oh...and neither of us will ever bring up tini or chang"

Kathrine slowly turned her face from her knees and looked at him. "...I... I'd like....to try again...if you'll let me..." She said softly, her soft hues looking at him. "Chang said...he think I couldnt move forward with him...because of you...I...I want to find out for myself that its true" She said and looked down. "B-But...I dont want you comparing me....to how I was before....or...come on too strongly...with...wanting to protect me...its....its not bad, its just...overwhelming." She said softly

Her apologies shocked shen. He gazed down at her almost in disbelief. "Well...truth be told I've hurt you on various occasions. It was never intended ..but it did happen." He replied softly. "So..what happens now? Do we just move on..or try one more time?"

Kathrine looked down her eyes watering. "S...sorry..." She said as he spelled out to her that oral counted as sex. She glanced off to the side. "It...didnt seem that way when we got to the hotel....I....I was going to tell you about...how me and Chang hadnt slept together...but....you were more interested in going up to Tini's room..." She said, not in an accusing manor, just stating a fact. "Killing...is still wrong..." She said lightly as he brought up what he had done. "...I....I'm sorry.....I hurt you....I....I wanted to do something on my own....since I woke up....you kept telling me what I like and dont like...comparing me...to someone I dont remember....I....It was making me mad....like being told...how to run my life....When I felt attracted to Chang....I...I wanted to act on it....even though...I liked you too....and...knew....it would probably hurt you..." She said in a hushed tone now, as she hugged her legs up against her. "He....offered to quit the mob...to come to the states....but....I refused...cause...something...wasnt right...I dont know what...but...I hurt him too....So...I guess I am to blame for it all....I'm the bad guy..." she said and buried her face against her knees. If Kate still had all her memories, she would have never admitted such a thing, she would have been butting heads with Shen during the whole discussion... "I'm sorry..." She whimpered lightly

"Whether or not you went all the way is pointless. Both of us had sex with other people. Oral counts despite what others might tell you." Shen replied softly as he leaned back against his chair more. Now everything was out, but he still didn't know what to do about 'them'. "Thats impossible. Theres no way I could care for Tini more then you. Even if you had lost your memories..you and her are like night and day. There's no comparison..." Shen replied softly. "Tho..it seems you're afraid of me now. I showed you a side of me I've never shown you before. The sad thing is...I want to apologize but I cant. I needed to avenge Yoko. I dont really expect you to understand...I just hope you wont hold it against me forever." Shen whispered and looked off to the side,

Kathrine flinched and looked at him. Her hues softened and she looked down. "I did like him....I still do....but not the way...he liked me...." She said and looked off to the side. "I...hadnt planned on staying in his room....I fell asleep..." She said quietly. He was taking fault for the misunderstandings, but she still felt everything was her fault, for not remembering who she even was or her feelings for Shen. "W-we...did some stuff....b-but....never went...all the way... I got scared and went back to the room...and....o-on the other side of the curtain...I....I saw you and Tini...and...I didnt feel as guilty about...liking Chang...I thought...you liked Tini...more than me...since...I'm not....the 'me' you know..." She said.

"Just stop." Shen muttered, cutting her off. "Tini and I are nothing. It was a mistake, thats all." Shen replied softly. He turned his head so his eyes were on her now. His gaze wasn't as distant as it had been the other day. "It seems there were some misunderstandings. Tini told me you had slept with Chang..and in fact you did, but it seems you did so after I had sex with Tini. Is that how it happened?" Shen asked. He had already worked out the time line in his head. "I'm not even sure if I can be mad at you since you acted on my actions. Tho, thats only an assumption. I saw the way you looked at Chang when you were in the pool. You wanted him, you liked him." Shen replied in a soft and calm tone. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against his seat. "I never wanted Tini, never. I was just...destroyed when she told me you slept with him. I suppose I cant blame you..but this entire misunderstanding could have been avoided if you hadn't spent the ENTIRE night in Chang's room. You do understand that..dont you?" Shen asked while opening one of his eyes. "But, I'm to blame too. Destroyed or not...I should have resisted."

Kathrine's body tensed as he grabbed her arms and lifted her up. She looked down, "S-sorry..." She said before she quickly stepped pass him and went to the bathrooms. She was splashed some water in her face and sighed. He completely hated her now...but why? hadnt he moved on with Tini? She walked out of the stall and back to her seat, pausing a moment and looked off to the side. "I-I'm back..." She said. She got back into her seat and looked out the window staring into the darkness. He hadnt said a word to her the entire flight so far... "....I....I'm sorry..." She started and rubbed her arm. "B-but...I'm sure you'll be able to find a way...to bring Tini to the states too....right?....then....you wont be..." She trailed off, trying to organize all of her thoughts

Shen eyes tore open when she fell against him. His body remained seat tho. He stared at her, watching as she cowered in front of him. She had done this before and it had broke his heart. "What are you doing?" he asked softly and pulled her up so she was on her feet. He could feel her shaking all over. "If you wanted to move around me you could have woke me up." he whispered softly as he got up so she could pass. He then sat back down in his seat and rubbed his eyes. They ha good...six or seven hours left maybe? Now that Shen was awake he was starting to wonder what he should do once they reached the airport. Was he really just going to drop her off, say good bye, and then move on??

Kathrine flinched at his touch, she had begun panting in her struggle within her dreams. Within the darkness she could hear someone's voice...She tried to focus to listen, then hands clung tighter to her, making her squirm against him at first as he pulled her towards him. But as she continued to listen, the hands started to disappear one by one. She calmed down and slowly began to relax again into a steady sleep. She slept for a few hours into the night without any disturbances before slowly waking up. She sat up and rubbed her eyes and looked out the window. It was still pitch black out...maybe around midnight? or a little later? She looked around and unbuckled her seat belt. She glanced warily at Shen as he slept. She had to get around him to go to the bathroom...but was too afraid he'd lash out at her again. She pressed herself against the seat in front of Shen as she tried to creep by but stumbled and fell right against Shen, her face pressing into his chest. She fell back onto her knees and covered her hands above her head expecting him to strike her, her body lightly shaking

Shen was resting peacefully. He was more than willing to put all the blood shed behind him. He was sleeping so soundly that he didn't even feel Kate lean her head against his shoulder. He did however feel her grasp his chair's arm. Shen's eyes slowly peeled open. He watched her squirm and immediately knew what was happening. It was nightmare, probably similar to the one's she had back when they were living together. Unfortunately, since they were on a plane he couldn't exactly pull her into his lap. If he left her alone, which he considered, her nightmare would only get worse. Sighing softly, he stretched his arms around her from under his blanket the best her could. He brought a hand behind her and gently stroked her hair while his lips pressed against her ear. "You're fine.." he whispered, his deep voice filled the gentleness it had been missing. "I'm here Kate. You're fine. No one will hurt you. Its just me and you..so relax." he whispered into her ear over, over, and over until she finally began to calm down.

Kathrine sat quietly and completely tense while next to Shen. She took out the note pad and had started to doodle for a couple hours before she closed the note pad and leaned back, staring out the window in silence. When it became dark she had quickly started to nod off. She closed her eyes and fell asleep, as the plane shifted slightly her head shifted and she wound up leaning against Shen's shoulder. It wasnt long into her sleep that her body began to twitch though as she entered the nightmare that had her tossing and turning the previous night. "Hn..." She whimpered, her hand clutching the chair's arm. She again found herself in a dark place, any time she tried to call out her voice was cut off. Then their hands began touching her again and she began to squirm in her chair

Once Shen and Kate were on the plane, Shen relaxed a little more. He still hadn't spoken to her tho. He did however notice that something was bothering her. It would take a while for them to reach new york from china. The flight would be a long one and Shen planned to sleep some more. Soon darkness set in around the plane. The flight attendants roamed the halls of the plane making sure that all the guests were comfortable. Shen had placed his pillow against the back of his seat and slouched down a bit to make himself comfortable. It had already been six hours and he still hadn't spoken to Kate. What could be said? What should have been said? Right now silence was only option until he could think of something. Also, he was still pissed that after all this time she hadn't once told him the truth about her and Chang. Maybe she didn't care or maybe..things were really done between them.

Kathrine had straightened herself up, but she still looked completely tired. She grabbed a pad of paper and pen she had asked for from the hotel's front desk to doodle on during the flight. She made her way to the lobby and made her good byes, shaking hands, bowing her head, thanking them for taking care of her and all that. When she found Chang she wrapped her arms around him and nestled her self against him for a moment. "Thank you....for everything Chang..." She said softly and looked up at him. She pulled him down and lightly kissed his cheek, in a friendly manner before she got into the car, trying to remember what she had dreamed about....

Chang had spent all night trying to calm Kate, but he had never dealt with anything like this before. By the time Kate awoke Chang had just fallen asleep. Then, his alarm went off. "Fuck." Chang muttered and slowly got up. He needed to prepare the cars for Kate and Shen. Meanwhile, Shen was already up. He had said his goodbyes to the members of Lagoon company. Lin had offered his goodbyes, but Shen had really returned them. Suddenly, Shen's attention was stolen by Tini. She pulled him off into a corner so they could speak freely. "Um..I wanted to talk to you. I was thinking that maybe-" she stated, but was cut off by shen. "Yea I've been wanting to talk to you too. Listen...I feel bad about what happened between us. I was in..a very dark place. It wasn't right..what we did." he whispered. Tini paused. For just a moment, her eyes broke right infront of him. She managed to pull herself together tho and playfully slapped his shoulder. "Owe dont worry. Sex is what I do. You owe me Five grand tho. I'm not cheap." she giggled. Shen blinked and reached into his pocket. Oh...how Tini wanted to slap him, kick him, punch him, scratch him...anything. "I was joking.." she muttered in a less playful tone. "Oh." Shen whispered and placed his wallet back into his pocket. Tini really had to hold herself together for this one. Her entire body was shaking, but did Shen notice? Hell no. "Well Shen..I hope you..find whatever you're looking for." she whispered before stepping in to give him a soft kiss on the lips, which caught Lin's eye..

Somewhere in the night Kathrine began to have a violent nightmare. As if someone were holding her down. She could feel hands on her body, touching her everywhere...and everytime she tried to cry out, she lost her voice. As the night went on the nightmare became worse. She couldnt see their faces, but she could see and feel multiple men now...doing things....horrible things to her, and still, every time she tried to scream, her lungs froze up and stopped working. In the bed she was whimpering and crying out softly, her body turning one way and then the other. Despite Changs efforts to calm or wake her she lived through her nightmare up until the end. Her hues slowly opened...she felt exhausted, her throat hurt, her face was wet from tears. She slowly sat up, feeling completely drained of energy. She put her hand to her head. What....did she dream about....why....couldnt she remember?

Chang knocked on Shen's door, but no one had answered. He waited for a few minutes before deciding to enter on his own. "Shen?" he called out before spotting him laying on the bed. "What?" Shen asked, his voice somewhat dry. "I thought you should know...there a few things we need to talk about regarding Kate." Chang stated. "Not interested." Shen mumbled, his eyes closing. "She's free to do as she likes." Shen stated. Chang frowned and took a few steps forward. "She and I never slept together! Stop acting like a child!!" he yelled. Now, Shen sat up, his brown eyes glaring up at Chang. He officially now Shen's attention. "You're telling me nothing happened between you two?" he asked. "Well.." Chang muttered. "There's been some..well..allot of oral..but thats it. I never took her. She wasn't ready and I'm convinced you're why." Chang explained. Shen raised a brow. He would have been amused if he wasn't so tired. "How is the image of Kate swallowing your cum suppose to make me feel better? How is that any different from fucking her?" Shen asked and laid back down. Chang didn't have an answer for him. "She's been crying. She desperately wants to accept my feelings for her. I..I love her. But, she's hung up on you...for whatever reason. I dont even know if she realizes it. Point is, if you dont do something that might change. If I'm lucky it will." Chang stated before he left. Shen let out a low groan. He closed his eyes and let the sleep he had been holding back over take his body. Honestly, he wasn't even sure what he wanted anymore.

Kathrine hd gladly taken Chang's offer to stay in his room for the next few days. She had even cried and begged him to forgive her, and how much she wished she could return his feelings for her at one point. Her nerves were shot, she kept seeing the image of Shen thrusting the knife down at her, stopping just short of her eye. She was flinching at any loud noise, sending her heart into panic. She had fallen asleep in Chang's bed before he left to go to Shen's room, clutching a pillow against her body, twitching now and then, but not as bad as when she was awake.

Three days passed after the mission. Shen had...calmed down and returned to normal. He had avenged Yoko after four long years and didn't care what anyone thought of him. He was currently laying in his bed. Tini had offered to keep him company, but he had declined. Right now he just wanted to be alone. Tomorrow he'd head back to the states with Kate. Meanwhile, Chang had kept Kate in his room. He had worked hard over the last few days to ease her nerves. Naturally, nothing physical had taken place between them. The poor girl was far too terrified. Sighing, Chang made his way towards Shen's room. He wasn't going to lecture Shen on how he had scared Kate, but did feel that there were some things he needed to know.